30 Second of Regret

If you asked me to describe her, she is a being whose existence had been erased from the Earth to not return to the contemporary imagination. An abysmal creature that produces the most mortifying nightmares for a mother. Entity born from a spell that went wrong, a deformed family that surely had a flash of intelligence and discovered that to be stronger, you had to devour the essence of its master. Spring calamity, stalking of the infant, dweller of the new moon, spawn of shadows. And still... she will be the most beautiful creature of Creation.

Now that my mind is fading, the first thing that comes to mind are the words I heard from Dr. Magliabecchi, a colleague who was in charge of tattooing a reminder that would only bring me horror and despair when faced with the epitome of the maximum taboo of Supernatural Affairs Bureau: Keep your guard up. Don't judge the paranormal instinct. Always choose the peaceful route. Never hesitate to kill if your life is at risk.

My actions over the last few years are completely cheating the code.

Remembering this makes me laugh, and that hurts me. The air does not pass into my lungs easily, and the taste of iron has invaded my mouth. I can feel the vibrations of the remaining sounds of my heart in my ears—or maybe they are not mine. I close my eyes to focus on that tapping, but I know you are begging me to open them again, even with those squawks intelligible to the ignorant public.

I can't resist your voice, even less when I barely hear you; I am always looking for you, even in this darkness. Wasn't it sunny outside a few minutes ago? Ah… surely that's it. The night seems to be falling slowly for me, so I close my eyes since I don't have the strength to keep them open and endure the burning that the red plasma causes in them.

Before this continues, forgive me; everything is my fault.

With difficulty, I can turn my head due to fatigue. My chest is numb and empty, but I am grateful that I could observe that long, thin beak, similar to that of a stork, and toothed with tiny fangs for the last time. My arm is very heavy; my fingers feel numb when I try to move them to reach your cheeks, soaked with tears from the desperation of feeling like my body has lost 300 grams of mass and 2.5 liters in less than a minute. I don't need to guess whether you're looking at me; I can see the bright gold of your predatory, sharp, big eyes above the blackness of my eyelids.

The sad chirping has stopped, and now I can hear you whining my name. The spell has worked, and although my face is soaked with your tears, I am happy to leave this world in your arms. You caress the scars on my cheeks but avoid the ones you gave me a long time ago with fear as if the fact that your fingers touched my skin would relieve the pain I felt during our first meeting.

Come to think of it, we are united by the ultimate of sins, and I will surely be waiting for you in Satan's most rotten tooth when your time comes, and you are also judged for betrayal by breaking the three rules of your species: Never fall in love. Never go hungry. Never reveal yourself to those who are not of your kind.

I apologize if my prejudices ever offended you.

Now I know that I destroyed the essence of your being with my selfish feelings. Although I know that it is useless to beg your forgiveness for my foolishness and arrogance for believing that I was capable of avoiding all the dangers to which I could subject you by being by your side, it was that same pride that blinded me to my ignorance, leaving you in these last moments in despair and sadness, feelings that your species should never know, because I know that it is thanks to this that your years are now numbered. But I couldn't live another day to be able to be the reason for your cheerful smile... I couldn't turn around and avoid loving you as any human does to something that attracts them madly.

I can hear the sirens of the department; it has sounded for at least 20 seconds. The police must be close now, and the Agency will arrive behind them. Although I try to ask you to run away, I can no longer do anything but feel the warmth of your body. I'm so weak that I feel like I'm floating in your arms even though I'm sure I haven't left the ground. I will never be able to forgive myself if they catch you... if they get caught.

I spend my last energy looking at the horizon, where the street goes. With that, you understand that you must flee.

My body feels heavy, my back stiff as I lower myself. I'm resigned to my fate, to the end that awaits me. You bid me farewell with a bittersweet kiss, damp with my red essence. I know you'll vanish into the night, leaving no trace of your presence. They'll mark a grave next to mine, another testament to the sins and regrets that will follow me into the Hereafter.

The last thing I feel is a soft touch on my face and fingers. One of your feathers rests on my cheek, and another has flown into my palm. A superhuman effort makes me lock that memory of yours with me so I can let the last 21 grams escape with a subtle smile.